


Back to the Future

by Zafona



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 2014 verse, Alternate Canon, Alternate Ending, Apocalypse, Betrayal, Cas meet Cas, Complete, Endverse, Final Battle, Love, M/M, Post Season 5, Romance, Sacrifice, Time Travel, Unrequited Love, a little out of character writing, old fic, zafona's archives
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-19
Updated: 2013-09-22
Packaged: 2017-12-27 01:23:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 18,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/972682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zafona/pseuds/Zafona
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's 2014 as if Dean from 2009 never came. Before the world really fell apart Castiel and his leader were close, but things fade as they often do. Love fell with the rest of the world and living day to day was all they had left. Running into the final fight against Lucifer something strange happens, Cas finds himself back in time to meet the Dean he fell in love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a very old story I wrote and finished in April of 2011. I wanted to include it here as part of my other works, it's one of the better oldies I've got. So please be kind and enjoy :)

2014 and the world was pretty much over. Dean Winchester stood looking out at his groups' fresh water supply, a small creek flowing behind Camp Chitaqua. The surroundings weren't anything special, exactly what you would expect from a mediocre camp ground that served as a home for many poor, unfortunate children over a summer break. The difference between back then and what occupied the camp now lay with the ages of the inhabitants and the length of their stay.

Dean's hazel eyes had grown harder since the apocalypse started, they looked for solutions in a much darker light and saw more bitter conclusions than they used to. Currently they stared at the glassy surface of the undisturbed creek at midnight, fixated on a hazy reflection of a man he wasn't sure he knew. Part of him believed that if he stared hard enough, he would see the ghost of a man long passed. Maybe, he thought, just maybe he would see his own solemn expression transform into that of a battle-hardened, ex-marine; into an obsessive, blind, and broken expression. But then, he was already looking at it, wasn't he?

A gently placed hand on his shoulder caused Dean's head to snap up, his vision focusing on the familiar sight of yet another disheartened face. Castiel's eyes locked with Dean's for a moment, concern seemed to well up in the blue orbs to the point Dean could see it. He brushed the hand off and turned his head back toward the water, this time letting his eyes wander over it.

"What do you want, Cas." His voice was just as hard as his eyes, no inflections in his tone indicated a question, just a demand.

Castiel dropped his hand with a tired sigh, "I saw you standing out here from my window and wanted to-"

"No need to check on me, Cas. I'm fine." Dean's eyes settled on the reflection again and he scowled at it, as if to confirm it didn't bother him.

Glancing from Dean to the water and back to Dean, Cas wasn't convinced. "If you say so." He unconsciously scratched at the stubble on his cheek, his mind searching for a conversation starter. Anything that could get Dean talking normally would do. The more he thought about it the more he realized how tall an order it really was. Dean's normal way of speaking was long gone; he traded humour for more ammo.

"You can go now."

Cas' expression sank momentarily before he shrugged and stepped up beside Dean, matching his gaze. "I could go, leave you with your brooding thoughts," He started, lifting his eyebrows with the inflections of his voice and his eyes shifting to look at his friend's face, "Or I could stay, keep you company, and destroy your mental concentration." He smiled, flashing Dean with his impossibly white teeth considering the circumstances. Turning his head back to face the water's surface, Cas chuckled. "Nah, I'll pass on that 'going' option."

Dean watched Cas momentarily. There was something in the angel's face, ex-angel now, that he couldn't quite put his finger on. Whatever it was, chances were good that it wasn't important to Dean's current objective. The hardened hunter turned away from Cas with a shrug, "Whatever, do what you want."

The two stood in still silence for what felt like ages to Castiel. He glanced over once in a while, in a quickly fading hope that Dean would be looking his way again. When he realized it wasn't happening he decided to speak up without the visual cue. "So what happened?"

Dean looked at him, annoyed confusion stirring in his face. "What are you talking about?"

Popping a pill into his mouth, Cas used it as an excuse to swallow hard before continuing, "To us." His voice, a low growl as usual, sounded strained.

Dean's left eyebrow raised at the question now, not sure if it was intentionally stupid or if he just wasn't getting what Cas meant. "The apocalypse happened. Sam went darkside. The world is freaking ending, Cas!"

"That's-" Cas' interruption was loud, and oddly frantic, before he stopped abruptly. He inhaled slowly, averting his gaze from Dean's entirely now. "That isn't what I meant."

"You mean the two of us?" Dean's tone was hard to place; angry, annoyed, curious, or all of the above? Cas couldn't tell but he nodded his head anyway. "You gave up, remember?" Dean's expression hardened further, if that was even possible.

"Gave up? How so?" Castiel took a defensive stance, a spark flickered in his normally glassy eyes.

"The drinking, the drugs? You've given up on everything." Dean shook his head, "You don't have the same fight in you that you used to."

A snicker escaped Cas but he managed to catch it before laughing in Dean's face. He wanted to point out how Dean hadn't exactly held onto who he was originally either, he wanted to scream at him, tell him how he felt about Dean's recent lack of humanity and negligence. But all he wanted say came out in a silent nod and a ridiculous smirk. "You're absolutely right, Dean." He choked out among snickers. Leaning in close to the leader's shoulder, his blue eyes open wide and staring up at Dean through matted hair, "We seem to have lost that fight of ours."

With that the downed-angel turned and walked away, leaving Dean alone by the creek. Dean's scowl intensified before he let out a loud yelp of frustration. After a swift kick at the water he marched back to his quarters, thoughts of losing Sam and the world to Lucifer swarming in his mind.

Elsewhere, Castiel swatted the beaded doorway aside as he entered his cabin. Earlier that night he'd left a handful of women in his bed, the hours before that seemed to blur together with the last weeks' events. Dean had made a valid point, Cas had been taking more risks with the drugs he consumed, some of which leaving him in a dazed high for days at a time. He looked at the different bottles strewn about his room and just shook his head. Not wanting to disturb the women, he rested on the mat in his living room, staring up at the ceiling. A fuzzy image of two years ago remained at the forefront of his mind.

He could still see Dean's face staring down at him through a haze of pleasure and excitement. He could still feel the tingle of Dean's touch as his hands slid up and down Cas' skin.

Feeling lost and insecure, Castiel curled up on his side and squeezed his eyes shut in hopes of catching a sweeter dream.


	2. Chapter 2

The next few days passed like trains rolling through the countryside. Dean was off to get the colt on the idea that his new lead was worth something, while Castiel did what he did best lately. In the middle of one of his famous orgies, he heard the roar of Dean's troops returning and had to call off the activities. He threw on his jeans and ragged shirt as he walked out the door. Adjusting the collar of his jacket he peered down at the unfolding scenes.

Dean and the others had a somewhat triumphant march as they exited their vehicles. Cas smiled, they had the colt. He hopped down his front steps, eyes carefully watching where he was going, he wasn't quite sure when his last hit was going to kick in. When he looked up again Dean's gun was raised and with a single shot Yagger hit the ground. Cas stopped in his tracks, as did everyone else. Dean looked at the faces that stared back at him, they knew why and he knew that he didn't have to explain himself to them by now. He closed his eyes with an exhausted sigh and placed the gun back into its holster. He pinched the bridge of his nose and wiped his hand down his dirty face like he always did when stressed.

Cas' eyes followed the man's disturbingly slumped shoulders as they disappeared into the far cabin everyone knew to be Dean's. A quick scan of the rest of the crowd told him that no one had anything to say and that the good mood had quickly died and faded away. With a shrug and slow exhale, Cas prepared for the next confrontation he knew would be coming.

It didn't take long for Dean to gather the important people into his quarters to discuss their next actions. Cas and Risa, in particular, sat in the dimly lit room. She was hunched over, elbows on her knees and had an expression that could scare bears away. Cas was leaned back, the creaking of his chair didn't seem to alarm him at all even with the threat of falling. He had swung his dirty boots onto the table to ease some discomfort, he wanted to be as relaxed as possibly for the leader's awful mood.

Dean tossed a map down on the table and rolled it open, his finger tracing the surface as he scanned for the devil's destination. "Here," He slid it over for Cas and Risa to see. With a groan and a 'clomp' Cas' feet hit the floor and he leaned over the table, exhaling audibly through his nose.

"Oh good!" Cas exclaimed sarcastically, raising his gaze to catch Dean's eyes, "A hot spot, how did you know that's what I wanted for my birthday?"

"You don't have a birthday, Cas." Dean growled, "And it's the only way in."

"Yeah well a guy can dream." Cas muttered, placing his arms on the table and looming closer to the map, "So we're gonna bust our way in the front door past the croats and the demons, and we shoot the devil?" The tone of his voice was very sceptical now, he didn't know how, if at all, anyone was going to survive this one.

"Yes." Dean's answer was quick and definitely lacked comfort, not that their fearless leader really bothered himself with comfort any more. He didn't sugar coat anything like he used to, his answers were deliberate, to the point, and as naked and ugly as the world they lived in. Dean looked at Cas, "Anything else?"

Cas' eyes stared up into Dean's, blue met hazel and it felt, for an instant, that something between them was going to burst into flames and consume one or both of them. He could only stand to hold this stare for a few seconds; the shallow look in Dean's eyes hurt him more than he cared to admit. They used to be deep, caring, brilliant, and lively orbs of brown and green that always seemed to question your moral standing, especially if you knew you weren't on the level. Now... Now they didn't do anything, it was as if a grey haze had lowered itself over them and lurked there like a dog protecting its territory. He didn't know if it hurt because he knew the beauty they used to hold, or if it was because Dean didn't differentiate between the ways he looked at Cas and everyone else anymore.

"I'll get the grunts moving." Castiel sighed as he hauled himself to his feet. Each step away from Dean felt heavier, something about this plan didn't sit right with either of them, and both men knew it.

Everything was set up and they'd be leaving in an hour, Dean stood staring at the map, his face solemn and dark. He wiped his hand down his face again, covering his hand in a mixture of sweat and dirt. His mind was swimming with thoughts of how this would play out, what would happen to his men, what would happen with the devil, what would happen to his brother, what would happen to-

His thoughts were interrupted when he heard the door close with a significant 'clak' sound. Reflexively his eyes fixated in that direction and widened when Castiel came into view, peering at him from the entrance. His blue orbs stared back for a moment before he turned his head; his tongue poked out to wet his lips but quickly retreated into the safety of his mouth. Dean felt a twang of pain in his chest, there was something about Castiel's expression that pulled hard on heart strings he didn't know he still had.

"What are you doing here?" Dean asked, he physically flinched at how harsh the words came out. He hadn't meant to sound so cold but now it was too late to take the words back. He stood stern and stubborn, trying to remain consistent in his mistake.

Dean wasn't the only one who flinched, Cas' whole body seemed to pull inward; his arms tucked closer to his torso in an uncharacteristic fashion. "I just..." He sighed, rolling his head back to face Dean in his familiar way, "...Wanted to talk." Dean's hand motioned for Cas to continue, which surprised the now-mortal-angel. He had expected Dean to shoot him down by saying that they were going off into a major battle and that he doesn't have time for this, or something like that.

In light of this Cas' face brightened a little, "Oh! Wow, really? I mean," He raised his hands defensively, "I'm not complaining or anything but-" He noticed that Dean was losing patience, mostly by the man's subtle eyebrow twitch. Dropping his hands again and nodding, Cas shrugged a little, "Right, sorry. Anyway about the other night, by the creek," He let his gaze linger on Dean, scanning his face for some form of a reaction.

When he received none he continued, "I didn't mean it-"

"What, that we've lost this fight? That we lost the war? Is that what you didn't mean to say?" Dean's interruption was startling and aggressive. He'd taken a menacing step forward but it didn't scare Cas. "What fight did we lose, Cas? As far as I can see, I'm not dead yet so the devil ain't gonna take everything. Not this time."

Cas turned his head again and Dean thought he saw tiny sparkles in the man's eyes. "Our fight." He choked out the words, "I didn't mean to imply that we'll never win. I mean," He looked up and gave an awkward nodding swing of his head, "I have been doing whatever I want, bang a few gongs before the lights go out. But that just means I know that my lights are going out, not all of us."

"Is that all?" Dean's voice was flat, it lacked all emotion which made it difficult to understand what he was trying to get across.

"Yeah... I guess it is." Cas' gaze drifted down toward the floor then back up, making contact with Dean's line of vision one more time and the hunter saw a pleading in those eyes he'd never seen before, and his heart sank.

It was a fleeting moment, almost slow motion. Castiel turned his back and opened the door, pausing there for a moment, waiting there for a moment. He didn't turn his head back, though he really wanted to. Dean stood staring; he wanted to say something to ease the pain he saw there. An image flashed across his brain like lightning; Cas' eyes were so vibrant and loving that last time.  _What happened?_

Dean's eyes widened, Castiel's voice echoed in his head;  _"So what happened?... To us."_  His mouth suddenly went dry, swallowing became harder and harder. "Cas..." He whispered.

Castiel was taking his first step out the door but stopped when his ears felt like they were ringing. A hitch in his throat and a burning sting in his eyes were the only things he could make sense of in that moment. He felt strong arms wrapping around his shoulders and pin him in place. Dean's ragged breath sent shivers down Cas' spine, he could feel Dean's tears, hot and trickling down, tickling and creating goose bumps in their wake.

His face nestled against Cas' neck, Dean sobbed violently, burying his face further in if he could. "Cas," His voice broke up so much Cas couldn't make out anything Dean mumbled into his flesh. He turned around to face Dean, both of their eyes red with tears. A wide, expecting smile spread over Cas' face as he sniffled hard enough to rock his shoulders up and down.

"Say that again. This time without the snivelling."

Dean scoffed softly, that smile was beautiful and it had been so long since Dean had seen it. He leaned back to look at Castiel properly, "I said I'm sorry."

Cas' eyes were as big as they could get, this was definitely unexpected. He reached up for Dean's face but it wasn't there anymore. Dean had pulled away from him and headed for the door. Castiel's smile slowly faded, his hand pausing in midair then drifting to grasp at his chest. Cas was frozen there, his eyes still wide open with tears unwillingly spilling out of them.

Slowly he turned to face to door, Dean was gone and nothing Castiel could do would ever bring him back. The broken angel stood in silence and allowed the tears to fall, this would be the last time they got the chance to.


	3. Chapter 3

It took a whole night of driving for the troops to reach their destination. Castiel scratched his scruffy jaw line, his eyes half-lidded as he peered out the window. He could see Dean hopping out of his vehicle, arms waving this way and that as he gave orders to everyone. Cas watched until Dean pointed at his truck and motioned for him to 'get his ass out there,' or so Cas imagined him demanding.

Dragging his legs out of the truck, Cas was reminded, again, how important it was to stretch your body once in a while. With a groan and a moan he stumbled to the ground and wandered after the grunts. He caught his gaze lingering on Dean in hopes that the man might explain the other night. As if hearing his thoughts, Dean glanced in Cas' direction. When Dean's eyes snapped away from Cas' and his head turned back toward his goal, Cas knew Dean wasn't going to say anything about it.

"Come on, get a move on." Dean shouted to the group, "Weapons up and eyes peeled, remember this is a hot zone."

Cas sighed heavily, "Yeah, yeah, we know." He muttered.  _That's why everyone's hesitating. Dean, I can see right through you on this one, you're lying about something. But... what?_

He closed his eyes for a second and a memory flashed across his eyelids. _Cas stood staring out at a seemingly empty street. He held a high powered rifle in his hands for the first time; of course he was holding it all wrong. He suddenly felt arms around him and a hot breath on his neck. "Not like that, Cas." Dean's voice almost danced in ears like music. The hunter's hands moved over Cas' and adjusted his posture accordingly, the whole while Dean's lips were against his ear and sending shivers throughout his body. "Remember, this is a hot zone so keep your weapon up and ready, and your eyes peeled."_

His flashback ended abruptly when he heard Dean's extra commands to keep up, he quickened his pace and caught up in no time, taking up the rear of the pack.

As Cas, and a few others in their attack force, questioned the wholesome value of this plan, they marched onward. Since they expected croats and demons around any given corner, there was no chance of speaking with Dean about anything. If anyone tried they'd receive a rough and violent 'shh' from him. Before they knew it, and before any kind of enemy encounter, they reached the devil's hideout. No one spoke for a moment, glances were exchanged and then the group huddled together next to a fence over populated by greenery.

Squatting with the rest of the crew, Cas could feel an increasing tension lurking through them. He looked at the faces and knew that his must've looked similar, confusion, desperation, anger and a slew of other emotions all mixed into their tired expressions.

Dean found all eyes falling on him and he didn't hesitate. "Just like planned, go in the front door."

"You serious?" Cas blurted out.

"Yes." Dean snapped back at him, the expression on his face made him look just like his brother, possessed by Lucifer. With that said, Dean made the motion for them to move ahead.

"Alright." Cas' voice sounded tired and fed up. He hefted his gun up and moved out with the rest of them, not turning back to look at Dean anymore.

Dean didn't move as he watched the backs of his team vanish one by one into the building. His eyes followed Castiel's thin form as the ex-angel took up the rear again. Tears welled up in his eyes, "I'm sorry, Cas." He said again as he turned away and went around the back of the building.

Cas looked around the entrance before going inside, his eyes beginning to trail backward. After mentally scolding himself he quickened his pace again. Just like every other in the world, this building was run down and in ruin. Cas scanned around the entryway, he couldn't see anything, he couldn't even hear anything aside from the inevitable noises the group made. As they moved forward, finding a staircase and heading up to the second floor, no one noticed that Dean wasn't there with them. Not until Cas glanced back to possibly get a read on Dean's expression.

His blue eyes widened slowly, his heart beat started increasing in speed and volume until everything else seemed mumbled around him. Dean's sobbed words started to play in his head over and over;  _'Cas, I'm sorry.'_  These words jumbled together with the deafening sounds of gunshots as their team finally met with the ambush left for them. Cas stood frozen for what felt like eternity as Dean's plan unfolded in front of him. Ever since they stood at the creek together that night, maybe even longer than that, Dean knew he was going to sacrifice all of them. Dean knew he was going to send everyone to their graves. Dean knew. Dean planned it. Dean wanted them dead. Dean wanted him dead?

The screams of his friends brought the world back to him in a swirling mess of heart beats, gunshots, screaming and blood. He let out a cry of anguish as he started in the fray.

The rest of the fight was a blur of bullets, battle cries and deaths. The surroundings spun in a sickly, wobbly circle around him. Castiel's eyes continually attempted to focus their vision but nothing in view sharpened. He could feel warmth leaving him by means of open wounds, though it didn't escape as quickly as he thought it might after a struggle like that.

It dawned on him that if he was still able to take note of these things then he wasn't dead just yet. With more determination Cas lifted his head to see the damage done. He saw countless bodies strewn about the room, his team, croats, and demons all mixed into the piles. He listened but heard nothing.

With a long and painful moan Castiel managed to get to his feet, now witnessing the bloody trails exiting a number of bullet holes in his body. Counting them, he decided that seven wasn't that big a number considering only three of them could be seen on his torso. He started navigating his way around the bodies, every step sent a shot of pain up his legs which already felt heavy enough to be lead.

It took him what felt like hours to make it downstairs again. He was counting on the idea that all the enemies had been taken care of since he didn't bring a gun down with him. Staggering out the front door he wandered to the back. His arms flailed weakly against the branches that hung in his way, his feet pathetically stumbled over every rock on the path.

Blue eyes lifted to see a beautiful garden filled with many roses and different kinds of plantations Cas couldn't be bothered to think about at that moment. He was pleasantly surprised, however, to see beauty like this again, something that wasn't overrun by weeds and croatans.

He stood, mesmerized once again by God's creation and how it could possibly produce something like that garden amongst the decay of the city. This is where Castiel saw him, crumpled on the ground with his head twisted awkwardly to one side. "Dean?" Cas' voice was barely a whisper now, it had dried up instantly and would hardly move in its paralysis. His eyes started blinking irregularly, both trying to keep tears back and possibly make his vision clearer, just in case what he was seeing wasn't really there.

His staggering was slow at first but soon sped up. He bolted to Dean's side, hitting his knees with a painful 'thud.' "Dean!" He shouted as he took hold of the man's shoulders and gave them a solid jolt. The way Dean's head rolled caused Cas to let go immediately, the hitch in his throat growing. "Dean..." His eyes started burning again; the sting of it was unbearable. Cas rubbed his eyes, smearing blood and dirt across his face.

When he looked up again he saw painfully white shoes standing next to Dean's body. Widening his eyes shot up only to see the cold sympathetic expression on Lucifer's face, on Sam Winchester's face. The image made him sick, the way he knew Sam back then conjured a different expression on the young man's face, at least in Cas' mind, when he would see his brother's corpse.

"Castiel," Lucifer's voice slid into his ears like a snake, "I didn't expect to see you, I thought for sure you would be dead by now."

Cas' face scrunched into a scowl, "Sorry to disappoint you."

"You know I could have killed you before you even laid eyes on me," Lucifer started to circle around Dean's body over to Cas' side.

"And why didn't you?" Blue eyes followed him cautiously, Castiel's voice had hit the deeper tone he used to speak in.

"Because, I wanted to see you suffer." He stood behind Cas now, out of the smaller man's vision. "I'm going to let you go to a place where you can see Dean without all of this," His hands drifted down onto Cas' shoulders making him flinch.

"In that case, what do you mean by suffer?" Castiel glanced over his shoulder, sweat slipping down his forehead.

"Well," Lucifer leaned down to Cas' ear, his lips brushing past it, "You'll have to find out on your own."

"What-!" The world suddenly went black and dropped away from him. Cas felt an awful mixture of his head spinning and that horrid falling sensation, the same one you get when you're half awake and you tumble out of bed. He didn't know where the ground was, when he'd hit it, or if it was there at all. A scream escaped his throat when he couldn't take it anymore, but it was cut short when he crash landed through a solid glass. He struggled momentarily and pathetically, but no matter how hard he tried the blackness wouldn't leave and soon it over took him.


	4. Chapter 4

_Castiel stood staring out at the creek, a cold breeze glided over his wet face, cooling it further. His clothes were soaking now, had he just fallen in? He could hardly remember. A firm hand clamped down on his shoulder, shocking him and causing his head to snap in that direction. Dean was there, smiling at him. He couldn't hide the surprise in his eyes; he stared in silence as numerous emotions crawled around his brain._

" _Dean," His voice cracked involuntarily and he quickly looked away to clear it. In the midst of taking a deep breath, Cas felt Dean's hand slide up to his face. He jolted and pulled away. "Don't you touch me!" He shouted, his eyes narrowed, moving to look at Dean again but what he saw wasn't what he expected._

_Dean's face was suddenly pale; blood leaked out of his mouth, and his neck was awkwardly twisted. His eyes and cheeks were sunken in and his lips looked dry. "Cas, I'm sorry." He said._

" _Y-You said that." Cas' expression softened. "Dean, why?"_

" _I'm sorry." Dean's voice sounded distant now, though he was in the same place as before._

" _Dean-"_

" _I'm sorry."_

_Cas took a few steps back from him, "Dean, I asked you a question."_

" _I'm sorry."_

" _Stop it!"_

" _I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry" As Dean repeated himself he took staggered steps toward Castiel, who was starting to freak out._

" _What the hell did I take to deserve this!" Cas shouted as he continued to back up, his legs felt heavier than ever now and he could feel a sudden rush of cold sweat over his forehead. In the midst of this his foot caught a rather large root. He felt that falling sensation again; the horizon whirled around one more time before he was met with a frigid splash of water. Something strange happened with the water this time, though, only his head got wet. He resurfaced; a deep breath was the first sound he made. Cas' eyes searched the shore frantically for Dean but saw nothing, only darkness. All he could hear were the splashes he made, his laboured breathing and the erratic sound of his heart beating._ How many times do I have to listen to that thing?

_He got another splash in the face but his body was completely dry. Cas' expression twisted in numerous expressions that represented confusion before he felt a solid grip around his ankle. His head shot down to see what it was, of course he didn't have to look to know. Dean's pale face stared back at him, his mouth forming the worlds "I'm sorry." Over and over again, bubbles spewing out instead of words. Cas felt the water's surface fly past his face as he was dragged down, his arms and legs flailing frantically, his throat felt like it was on fire as he tried to scream. He couldn't see anything but darkness. It swarmed around his head like a black cloud, no matter how hard he tried he couldn't see it was almost like a lid had been put over each eye._

Then suddenly he realized; his eyes were closed. With a sudden start his eyes popped open and he was breathing as if he'd just run a marathon. Water dripped down his forehead, cheeks, and nose as if someone had dumped a bucket of water on him. Looking up he made eye contact with Dean Winchester and let out a loud yelp of surprise and, consequently, fear. "AHHH!"

"AHHH!" Dean returned the surprise and jumped backward. "What the hell, Cas!"

Cas had attempted to scramble backward when he felt a shot of red hot pain screaming all over his body. He instinctively curled inward, and frantically looked at his surroundings. He was in the back seat of the impala, its front window smashed to hell. Further inspecting himself he realized that the glass the windshield was missing was all around him, possibly in him judging from the pain. Slowly he let his eyes drift back in Dean's direction and noticed something about him now, this wasn't his Dean. "Whoa..." He let out a disgruntled exclamation, not that it meant anything in particular.

Dean shook his head and looked over at Sam who stood holding a bucket filled with water again. The younger brother shook his head as if to say he had no clue what was going on. Dean turned his head back in Cas' direction to see the man struggling to get out of the car. He made no move to help the assumed angel, he figured that Cas was gonna be perfectly fine like always. This idea, however, slowly faded the longer it took Cas to get up and out, it faded faster when he heard the painful groans coming from the smaller man. "Hey, Cas you okay?" He reached over and lent a hand to help.

Cas didn't hesitate to accept the help and lean on Dean for support, he still had numerous bullet wounds and now he was very, very sore from breaking through a windshield. "Thanks." He grunted as he made it to his feet and regained his balance. Looking up at Dean he smirked. "Well I'll be." He exhaled as he spoke, giving his tone a distant and tired sound. "What year is this?"

"It's 2011, Cas are you okay?" Sam spoke this time, walking closer to inspect their angel friend. His voice and face gave away his concern in a snap, it would take a blind or deaf person to miss it.

Castiel laughed, stumbled a little when he let go of Dean as his support giving out a mumbled 'whoa,' and continued laughing. "Aside from the bullets in my guts, glass sticking out of me, and the huge bruise I'm going to have, yes. I'm okay." He'd stopped laughing by the end of his sentence and nodded his head in Sam's direction and resting it in a laid back position, just slightly, so he looked at Sam through half-lidded eyes.

2011, so it was three years off of his time? But Dean and Sam were still together so that couldn't possibly be it. Cas' mind was so hazy at this point that he could hardly think about what that could mean. Things were too peaceful now for the apocalypse to have continued the way he knew it; he hadn't seen any croats though he hadn't really been looking.

Sam and Dean exchanged a concerned glance before both gazes returned to Cas. Dean looked him up and down, spotting the bloody stains on his shirt and pants he winced a little. "Can't you just... heal it?" The way he said it made it seem obvious, which is what it was to the Winchesters.

Cas shook his head, "Nope. Notice anything different about me?" He looked straight into Dean's eyes, something he'd wanted to do pretty badly since he'd helped him up.

Dean squinted, his hazel eyes strained to find something, he'd noticed the obvious physical differences but there was something very different about Cas now, more than just appearance. "You're scruffier than you were." Dean started muttering things he noticed to help himself along a little bit. "Dirty, normal clothes, you even smell different." Sam made a face at that, Dean knew what Cas smelled like normally? He'd never really taken note.

Cas smiled when he heard it, "Yeah all true."

"And you smile!" Dean pointed excitedly but quickly cleared his throat, "Plus your hair is flatter." He scratched head as he looked Cas up and down, "The way you stand it..."

"Looks a lot like Dean." Sam piped in to help his brother out.

Looking from Sam to Cas, he inspected the way their legs were separated and the specifics of their posture. "He kinda does stand like me now." Dean muttered. He scanned Cas thoroughly from his shoes to his face but he got stuck when he saw blue. "Your eyes," Dean said absentmindedly taking a step closer. "What the hell happened to you?"

"I'm not the same Cas you know, it seems." Cas shrugged, "But I'm not sure what's going on. What happened to Lucifer?"

Sam and Dean exchanged another glance and Dean nodded as if the two had spoken and decided that the shorter of the two would explain. "We took care of him."

Castiel's eyes widened in an instant. "How!" his voice gave his excitement away. His adrenaline rushed for a moment until his body realized he'd completely run out of it already. Cas suddenly felt a strong dizzy spell taking over him. "How did you do it? I... I need..." His voice trailed off as his eyes rolled back in his skull.

If Dean hadn't been watching Cas' eyes he wouldn't have seen it coming and he wouldn't have been able to catch him so quickly. Castiel now hung in Dean's arm, fully unconscious. Dean looked up at Sam briefly for some kind of advice on this one and his brother didn't hesitate. "In the car, he needs a doctor."

Dean looked at the seats and back at Sam, "There's glass everywhere-"

"Just do it, Dean!" Sam shouted as he jumped behind the wheel. Dean was a little shocked that Sam planned on gunning it to the hospital but didn't think on it too much. He climbed into the back seat and laid Cas down, resting the angel's head on his lap. Dean didn't say much on the ride; he only stared down at the feeble frame in his arms. Cas felt so small, it was the strangest thing for Dean who had previously punched this man and only moved his head.

Dean found his hand stroking the short, black hair in an act of comfort. He heard his voice whispering, "It'll be okay." He wasn't disturbed, not particularly. Something about caring for Cas this way seemed natural.


	5. Chapter 5

Dean paced back and forth in the waiting room, grumbling mostly to himself. Sam had been watching him for what felt like days. "Dean." No response from his brother indicated he wasn't heard. "Dean, quit pacing you're making me nervous." Dean looked at him for a moment before going back to what he was doing. "Dean!"

"I heard you!" Dean shouted and was promptly shushed by a nurse at the reception desk. He rolled his eyes and looked back at Sam, "I hate waiting in hospitals, I feel all... I just don't wanna sit, okay?" He flinched when he was shushed again and angrily waved his hand at the nurse, only once she wasn't looking anymore of course.

"You know," Sam smirked, leaning back in his seat, "If I didn't know any better I'd say you were worried about him. What's going on between you two?"

"Nothing is! I just don't-"

"-Like hospitals, I know." Sam looked down the hallway they were waiting on, "I'm sure it won't be much longer." Just that moment, almost as if they were waiting for their cue, a nurse strolled down the hall and over to the Winchesters.

"You can visit him now." She said with a curt smile and pointed to the door, "That one on the right."

"Thanks." Sam said, getting up. He looked down the hall at the door but saw it was already open, Dean was inside. Smirking again and shaking his head Sam sauntered over to Cas' room. Standing in the doorway he saw Dean sitting next to Cas' bed, leaning over the little guy. Sam was shocked at how small Castiel looked in this state. There was something intimidating about the powers of an angel, even to the point that you never noticed how small the vessel really was.

Dean looked Cas' face up and down, glad to see colour in it again. "How you feeling now?"

Cas laughed, "A lot better, actually. What a big difference not dying makes." He looked at Dean with a smile Dean was definitely not used to seeing. He was fixated on it, staring. The more he stared the bigger Cas' grin became, "Something in my teeth?"

"Uh no! No, all's good." It was almost alarming how fast Dean leaned back in his chair, his arms crossed over his chest and his eyes quickly averted to Sam.

Sam shook his head, "So Cas, what did you mean when you said you weren't the same Cas that we knew?" The face Sam wore when he was in 'questioning mode' was unmistakeable, eyebrows tilted to the perfect position to make you wonder if he was concerned or judgemental. Cas didn't really care one way or another.

He shrugged and scratched his chin, "I mean I'm from 2014, or at least one version of it. Well it's a bit confusing but all you need to know is that I'm human now, the world is all but over, Sam's Lucifer, and Dean's..." Cas' voice trailed off and a pained look took over the blue in his eyes making them look gray for a moment. "Dean's gone."

Dean's face twisted a little, "What do you mean gone? I left?"

"No. Lucifer killed you." Cas looked up at Dean, his mouth pulled tight but Dean wasn't sure if he was smiling, frowning, or just intending to look neutral. Probably the latter but he really wasn't sure with this version of his angel.

"That's fun," Dean muttered and looked over at Sam, "Looks like I dodged a bullet on this one."

"More like a foot." Cas interjected, an image of Lucifer's footprint on Dean's neck flashed across his vision.

A screwed up expression graced Dean's face but quickly vanished as he shrugged it off, "So, then what are you doing here?"

"Lucifer sent me." Cas sighed and flopped backward into the fluffy pillows. He was enjoying this luxury, even if it was only a hospital.

The brothers both seemed to choke on Cas' words, "Lucifer  **sent**  you?" Sam's voice took on an unmistakeable defensive tone.

"That's what I said," Cas said matter-of-factly and looked up at him, "Lucifer caught me alone and sent me back here."

"What does he want you to do?" Dean asked, his eyebrow cocked suspiciously.

"To suffer." Cas stated, looking Dean in the eyes again. His answer seemed to satisfy the Winchester's for now, though he knew there'd be more questions rolling at him. "In the meantime, tell me how you guys beat him."

Sam made Dean answer last time so it was his turn. The three men sat there together while the nurses came in to check on Cas once in a while and to test him. Sam ran through the whole story for Cas, touching on the details that were requested specifically. Of course, Dean had to fill in certain parts of the story, but they managed to satiate Cas' curiosity. "Wow," he sighed, "The horsemen's rings, huh?" He leaned back with a long, tired exhale, letting his cheeks puff up with this one. "Never thought of that."

"Still got 'em?" Dean asked.

"Nope."

"That sucks."

"Yep."

Sam crossed his arms and scrunched his face in his usual contemplative way. "Well can't you use the ones we used?" He asked, looking over at the bed.

"Maybe, but that kind of leaves you without them, doesn't it?" Cas stared up at Sam, his face was virtually unreadable.

Dean scratched the back of his head, "I don't think Death would be terribly happy if I just gave them away, plus he has his ring."

"Oh yeah." Sam scratched his head too, Cas couldn't help but chuckle at the similarities.

Dean looked over at Cas, "What happened to them?"

"Dean always held onto them, might've still had them on him in the end, too." Cas slumped further into his pillows. "Don't worry about it guys, my world is already over, there's no point anymore."

"So what, you're giving up?"

Cas looked up to see Dean's determined eyes glaring back at him. "What did you..." His throat caught that same hitch it always caught right before he felt that sting in his eyes. He remembered Dean standing next to the creek, his face stone cold and his eyes even worse.  _"You gave up, remember? The Drinking, the Drugs? You've given up on everything."_ He shook his head, "No I..." Unconsciously he bit at his bottom lip, his eyes searching for something to look at that wasn't Dean but he ended up back, stuck in eye contact again. "I guess... I guess I just needed a break from it all."

"Right, so what did you have in mind?" Dean didn't believe him, but he could tell that Cas had been through more than his share of nightmares.

With a smile the ex-angel nodded toward the door, "Out of here, for one. After that, I wouldn't mind if you took me somewhere to have a good time." A quick wink from him surprised Dean, making him stutter and lose the ability to produce clear sentences.

"Alright," Sam cut in, "Then we'll take you to one of Dean's favourite places."

Later that night after pulling up to the town's only bar, the three men stepped out of the Impala, her windshield still busted but the glass had been cleaned out well enough. Dean looked like he was fighting back tears, "Aw baby..." He put his hand on the hood, "I'll get you fixed up first thing tomorrow, I promise."

Sam shook his head and rolled his eyes in Cas' direction, who just laughed and walked into the building. Overall it looked like it was going to be a good evening from the get go, which was true while they were in the bar. Sam took the position of designated driver and only had one, maybe two beers throughout their stay. Dean started off with his usual amount, not enough to get drunk but definitely got a good buzz going. Cas' level of alcohol tolerance was surprisingly strong at first, it even looked like he could out drink Dean. Of course, the older Winchester had to put this to the test.

Sam rolled his eyes again; he seemed to be doing that a lot lately. He knew he'd end up carrying at least one of those two home at the end of the night. Luckily the contest hadn't started until much later, which resulted in the bar closing before either of them could actually pass out. This didn't change the fact that Cas' legs were too rubbery to support his weight and Sam ended up carrying him out the door and to the car. Dean stumbled along, claiming victory over an unfinished contest.

Sam opened the door to their motel room and carried Cas inside, dropping his noodle-esque frame onto one of the beds. "There." He proclaimed triumphantly, feeling as though it were a job well done. He wandered to the bathroom to get ready for bed, once he returned a strong laugh burst out of him before he could cover his mouth to halt it. Instead of taking the empty bed, Dean had crawled under the covers with Castiel, both were snuggled in tightly to one another and unconscious. Shaking his head, Sam dropped into his bed and curled up, falling asleep almost immediately.


	6. Chapter 6

_Everyone stood together in a dark space, Castiel could see Lucifer's hiding place just beyond the cracked wall. All of their faces were covered in ash, blood, sweat, and tears but that wasn't out of place here._

_Dean spoke first._

" _Just like I planned, go in the front door."_

_Cas was next._

" _You serious?"_

_Had this conversation already happened? It didn't matter, questions needed to be answered._

" _Yes."_

_Good enough._

" _Alright."_

_He turned his back and walked away, like he was supposed to. He didn't know why, but this was just how things were supposed to go._

_Dean spoke again, sobbing this time._

" _Cas, I'm sorry."_

" _What?" Cas stopped his advance, was he supposed to hear that? Turning around again he saw Dean disappearing around the building everyone else was walking into. "Dean!" he wanted to scream but virtually no sound came out when he tried. His legs felt like they belonged to an iron statue as he tried to run after him. The more steps he took the further away that corner seemed. "Dean!" He tried again but still nothing._

_Then he saw Dean's shadow approaching Sam's, Lucifer's. "No Dean! Stop!" Dean lifted the colt and fired it which caused a white flash that obliterated Castiel's vision. Tears streamed down his cheeks, his body becoming heavier and heavier until he fell to his knees. The world returned to him in a blur as he hung his head, his eyes resting their gaze on a heap before him. There in front of him lay Dean's still corpse, eyes half open and staring blankly at the ground. Sobs shook Cas' body, trying to speak, trying to move, trying to take Dean into his arms. He tried. And tried. And finally a loud shriek exploded from his chest and burst out of his mouth._

" **DEAN!"**  Castiel sat upright in a sudden and violent motion; his voice filled the room instantly. In a dizzying haze he scrambled to get out of bed only to fall to his knees at the bedside. His hands felt the floor in front of him frantically searching for a lifeless body, his vision hadn't steadied itself yet and the lights in the room looked like they were all looming over him. "NO!" He screamed, his voice almost shrill in comparison to his usual baritone.

The next moments happened in a blur for Castiel; a strong hand clamped itself down on his shoulder and wrenched him around, it pulled him into the gentlest hug he'd ever experienced. His face was plastered against a bare chest; muscled arms had cornered him there. Cas didn't move for what felt like minutes, waiting for the voice of his tranquilizer.

"Calm down, Cas." It was Dean, one hand holding the drained angel in place while the other slowly stroked the back of his head. His surroundings started coming into focus, mainly Sam kneeling next to them with his usual concerned expression aimed in Cas' direction.

He started to relax, though his body continued to shake, "I'm okay." His voice's strength had depleted to a weak, raspy whisper. Of course, he didn't make any move to get away from Dean's grip. Closing his eyes, Cas leaned into the warm embrace hoping with all of his might that this moment never ended.

Dean looked up at Sam, his expression matching the confusion and worry Sam continued to display. Dean didn't move from Cas, the two of them remained on the floor for almost an hour before the older Winchester's stomach started to grumble loudly in Cas' ear. The angel started to snicker, his shoulders shook gently before his laughter increased, causing them to rise and fall much quicker. Looking up at Dean with a wide, tooth-showing smile, he wiped the tears from his eyes, "Thanks, I needed that."

Dean was surprised but glad that his eating habits came in handy for someone else for once, so he decided to take the credit. "No prob." He smiled his own pearly whites in return, "Now how about we get off the floor and get some breakfast?"

"Yeah," Cas sniffled a little, wiping his nose with his sleeve. He looked at Dean's chest again when an incredulous expression lit up his face, "When did you get your shirt off?"

Dean looked at himself and shrugged, "Guess I wiggled out of it? I dunno."

Laughing, Cas pulled away and stood up, "Well I appreciated it."

Dean took a moment to decipher what Cas said and decided that he meant the comforting, "Hey don't sweat it, I'm pretty good as a security blanket."

"Yeah that too," Cas smiled at him, something about this one was much less about the smile and more about the eyes that were half-lidded and glancing up and down Dean's torso, "But I meant I appreciated the lack of shirt."

The expression Dean had after that comment resembled the expression represented by the computer emoticon 'o_o' as Castiel strolled over to the bathroom. Dean struggled to stand up, his legs sleeping after the long sit on the floor. He was lost in thought though, so he hardly noticed. Resting on the bed for a moment, Dean reflected on the span of expressions he'd gotten out of this Cas since they'd met. After several moments he realized there was a pattern of repetition, two faces in particular; that half-lidded, lustful stare, and the look of complete adoration and endearment.

"Dean," Sam's voice shattered his concentration in a snap.

"What?" His reply was meant to be understood as annoyed but it came out more dazed and distant, which disappointed him but he shrugged it off.

"We're going for breakfast and you're not even dressed, hurry up." Sam was as irritated as ever, though slightly amused by Dean's recent changes. It was obvious to Sam what was happening here but his thick-headed brother hadn't quite pinned the tail on the donkey yet.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm just waking up." Dean waved his brother off agitatedly and reached over to his bag of clean laundry.

That day was relatively uneventful; they had a decent breakfast together, conversing about whatever came up. After that Dean took his baby to a shop to fix her up, the three of them lounging in the waiting room. Cas and Dean ended up crumpling stray bits of paper and throwing them at one another while Sam read different magazines. Once they finally got the Impala back (and Dean was finished ogling it), they went for cheeseburgers, to Sam's dismay. In his opinion, breakfast happened too recently to warrant wanting cheeseburgers, but Cas was very insistent on it.

"I'm telling you, cheeseburgers don't exist anymore," Cas said as they hopped out of the car.

"Not at all?" Dean was genuinely horrified. "How did I survive that long?"

Laughing Cas matched his pace to Dean's and they walked side by side into the diner. "I haven't seen one since everyone jumped ship. Who's gonna stay and work in a restaurant when some crazy freak is jumping through all of their windows?"

Dean laughed, "Good point."

Sam had already found a decent place to sit, by a window where just underneath was an outlet for him to plug his laptop in. Since he'd seen a sticker claiming the building had Wi-Fi he planned on entertaining himself while his brother and Cas scarfed down cheeseburgers at an alarming pace.

Cas winced a little as he sat down, his wounds still stung and they weren't terribly impressed with him for partying right after getting out of the hospital. Ignoring the painful yelps coming from his bullet wounds, he leaned back in the off-colour booth, draping arms over the back of it. Dean sat next to him, knowing full well Sam would be pissed if his personal space was intruded upon.

Blue eyes met hazel again when both men turned their heads to sneak a peek at the individual beside them. Dean's instinct was to avert his gaze right away, but when he glanced back he saw that Cas hadn't moved. Swallowing hard, Dean turned his head fully to face Cas now, bringing out another smile on the man's scruffy face. Neither moved for minutes, which gave Sam enough time to look up from his laptop and let out a short but audible snort.

Dean's head snapped back to look at Sam, his mouth open to say something, anything to defend himself, but the waitress' words cut him short, "What can I get you?"

Sam's order was short, just water for him, while Cas and Dean asked for the same thing, a cheeseburger platter. The waitress smiled and walked away, Dean smiled back at her until she was far enough to be out of ear shot. He quickly turned back to Sam, "What was that about?"

"What, I told you I wasn't hungry." Sam, grinning, turned back to his laptop.

"No not that! The laughing! Why were you laughing?"

"I didn't laugh."

Dean was about to continue the argument but decided against it, he knew what Sam was laughing at; he didn't really have to ask.

Cas couldn't stop smiling at this point, it had been so long since he'd seen the brothers bicker he hardly even noticed if either was actually annoyed with the other. "You know," He said, his voice cracked slightly with a laugh, "You two should never split up. Hell, if you ever decide to quit hunting I bet you'd make a great comedy duo."

The reaction he got from the Winchesters only made him laugh; both of them stared for about two seconds before Dean turned his questioning on Cas, "What, you think this is funny?" His hands reached around Cas in what the angel thought would result in some form of rough-housing, he was surprised to find that Dean started tickling him instead. Having never been tickled before, Cas shrieked instantly and scrunched into himself, trying desperately to get away from it.

"NO! Stop it!" He cried, his eyes squeezed shut as he pushed at Dean to get rid of him. This of course left his armpits open to Dean's relentless assault, which caused more screams and flailing.

Sam looked around the diner at the faces that were inevitably turned in their direction. "Guys, maybe you could do that later?"

Dean had already made his way to Cas' hips when he paused to look at Sam, "Awe come on, Sammy." He grinned, "I used to do this to you all the time, you loved it."

"I was five, Dean." Sam's voice had taken a familiar correcting tone. He pointed to Dean's hands and where they were sitting, "And you never tickled me like that."

Cas was breathing heavily, still laughing he squirmed away from Dean's grip. "That was interesting." He settled in his seat, focusing on the tingling nerves rather than the pained ones. The smile never left his face, not for their entire stay in the restaurant and certainly not for their return to the motel. The remainder of the evening involved a few beers and watching some terrible television. Luckily all three had a sense of humour about it or the bad acting would have been too much to handle.

It was late, Sam had already retired to his bed not wanting to argue about who gets to sleep where. However his worries were unfounded because Dean had no qualms about lying down with Castiel again. The two snuggled under the covers, both were quiet. There wasn't much to say really, it was an amazing day and most of it didn't need to be discussed since they had both been there to witness it.

Dean's mind burned with questions about the diner, he wanted to ask Cas about it, he wanted to ask himself about it. Hell, he might've even wanted to ask Sam about it, he wasn't quite sure at that moment. Rolling over to face the center of the bed, Dean came nose to nose with Cas who had been watching him for the last couple of minutes since their heads hit the pillows.

Just like before, neither spoke as they stared into each other's eyes. Dean's lips parted as he prepared to speak but Cas placed his finger on them before any words formed, "Shh..." He smiled and leaned in, his lips pressed against Dean's without any resistance or hesitation from either of them. Instead, Dean's arms were around him again to hold him in place, just in case he tried to break the kiss.

That night was reminiscent of the first time Cas and his Dean had made love. It was passionate, warm, and the most incredible thing he'd ever felt in his life. In fact, that night was when he finally lost the awful title 'virgin.' This time was a little bit different though, Cas knew what he was doing now and when he wrapped his arms around Dean at the end of it all, he held tight and never let go. He wasn't going to lose this one, not this time.


	7. Chapter 7

For the first time in about two years, Cas felt well rested when a bright light poured over his face. He'd slept like a baby that night; relaxed, happy, and without any nightmares. If Castiel had to choose a night he'd like to repeat over and over again for the rest of eternity, last night would have been the one. Amidst his silent musings and revelling in the sensations of his recent actions, his eyes slowly opened until his sight caught the room in front of them.

He opened his eyes the rest of the way in a flash and sat wildly upright. The room he sat in suddenly felt very cold, it was empty except for the single, dirty bed he'd been laying in. He looked at the empty space next to him where Dean was supposed to be. When had he let go? He swore he wasn't going to lose this one, when did he let go!

Tears filled his eyes, "Dean?" He whimpered as his hand shakily felt the cold sheets next to him. Slowly he retracted his arms to himself and hugged his knees. Tears continued to spill over and run down his cheeks as he let out loud wails and screams in anguish. The only word Cas could speak clearly was 'Dean.'

He stayed like that for about thirty minutes before climbing out of his self misery enough to stand up. His clothes were on him again, something he hadn't noticed when he woke up. Cas took several heavy steps over to a window to stare out at a decimated street. To his surprise the streets were intact, everything looked bright and people walked around like Cas had seen them doing when he first arrived in 2011. His eyes widened when it dawned on him, he was still in 2011, just not where he went to sleep.

Excitement rushed through him as he dashed to the door. Before he could reach it, however, a figure appeared in front of him. Instincts from living in an apocalyptic world took over as he took several nimble steps backward. His eyes narrowed as he focused on the new arrival, fully expecting to see Lucifer staring at him through Sam's eyes. Once again he was surprised to see a long, light brown trench coat on a dark haired male standing before him.

A sigh of relief escaped his lungs as he relaxed, "It's just you." He said with a smile, "How's heaven?"

"Why are you here?" Castiel's, the angel's, voice growled out at him, stern blue eyes fixated on him.

"Whoa, whoa I'm not trying to mess anything up, alright? Lucifer sent me here." Cas waved his hands defensively, hoping to calm his much more powerful self. Considering nothing happened the way he knew it, he had no idea how this Castiel had turned out or what he believed. Far as Cas knew, Castiel hated the Winchesters and preferred destruction over salvation.

"You do not belong here." Castiel seemed to be set off by the 'Lucifer sent me' line, his presence filled the room almost instantly and his voice struck Cas' eardrums more clearly than it had just seconds earlier. "Leave,  **now**."

Cas couldn't help the grin that crossed his features, he let out a nervous laugh, "Wish I could just 'leave,'" he mimicked Castiel's tone with that last word, nodding his head to the side as he spoke it. "Problem is I was thrown here and I can't exactly crawl back the way I came, I'm mortal."

Castiel's face twisted for a moment, his head tilting slightly. The man standing before him was a version of himself, of that he could be certain. However this was a man, not an angel.

Cas watched the confusion in Castiel's eyes and shook his head. He allowed the angel a moment to think about the situation; in the meantime he would do the same. Dean's face was permanently etched into his mind, his smile, his eyes, and his body. Cas could even hear his laugh if he listened for it, which he did now. With his eyes closed he saw Dean's face, rugged and handsome, but something was different... Or was it familiar? Then he recognized it, the Dean he saw was his Dean, the one he'd fallen for the first time. Cas swallowed hard as he opened his eyes again, that hitch in his throat had returned, with a vengeance this time.

He shook his head trying to remove the image but it wouldn't go, like Dean's ghost was pissed with him, like he had cheated on him or something. He did it with Dean from a different time but it was still Dean, that didn't count as cheating, did it? On that note, did it even matter if it counted as cheating or not? Dean had betrayed him big time, sent him to his death along with the others. Why did it matter if he had sex with someone else? They weren't even together when Dean died anyway, why did this bother him so much? _Because you still love him, even if he would rather have you dead._

Cas hugged himself, disguising it as having itchy arms in case Castiel was looking. It was obvious what had to be done here, but how would he explain it to Dean? For that matter, would he even be able to convince himself that it was okay to see Dean? He figured he'd give it a whirl.

"Listen," Cas relaxed again and casually walked up to Castiel, "If you have questions you can ask our favourite brothers, okay? I explained it to them already." Hoping that at this moment all Castiel wanted to do was make sense of the situation, not just fix it. If all Castiel wanted was to remedy the whole thing he'd easily be able to kill Cas on the spot, that would fix everything right away.

Castiel had turned his head to follow Cas' movements, contemplating the suggestion briefly. He gave a short nod and a soft grunt before placing his finger tips on Cas' forehead. Having been away from angelic transportation for a while, aside from being tossed by Lucifer a couple days earlier, Cas felt very queasy when the two arrived in the Winchester's motel room. Dean had been up early that morning, freaking out about Cas leaving them without even so much as a good bye.

Sam sat watching his brother continue a downward spiral, Dean had been on the verge of tears for two hours now and there was nothing Sam could say that would help. He wanted to, even though the activities last night were not appreciated at all. He scratched his head before coming up with something to say, "Listen Dean," Sam started, "He was dropped off here by Lucifer, maybe he was taken back."

Dean paused for a second and turned to look at Sam. He had nothing to say to that, it seemed to be the worst possibly scenario. Considering how bad it would be if Cas just walked out on them, on him, Dean would get the brunt of that pain. However, if Cas was dragged away from him then Cas would definitely be hurting more, and that was something Dean couldn't stand. If he had to choose, he'd rather be the one to get hurt.

A tired sigh escaped his lungs as he sat down on his bed, "Yeah... I'd rather not think about that." Dean dropped his face into his hands, holding back the strong urges to start bawling.

A familiar fluttering sound caught both Winchester's by surprise. Looking up, they saw Castiel, two of him, standing in front of them. Cas' knees shook a little but didn't buckle, he took a moment to steady himself before looking at Dean. "Hey." He said simply and raised a hand to greet him.

Dean's face lit up instantly, "Cas!" He leapt to his feet and darted across the room. He wrapped his arms around Cas and pulled him into a tight embrace.

Cas smiled and nuzzled his stubbled face against Dean's, "Been a while." He joked, pulling away once he'd gotten enough snuggling. "I thought I was back in 2014 but then he showed up," Cas motioned toward Castiel who looked very unimpressed with the whole situation.

Dean frowned and looked at Castiel, "Did you do that?"

"Yes. He does not belong here, Dean." Castiel looked over at Cas for a moment before returning his gaze to Dean's now aggravated expression.

Shaking his head, Cas turned Dean's to face him. Dean was shocked to see what looked like peace had settled into the blue orbs staring back at him, "He's right, Dean." Cas smiled again and laughed a little, "I don't know how to live as a regular human, just one that's struggling to survive in a dying world."

"That's every human, Cas." Dean interjected but Cas placed a finger on his lips, like he'd done last night.

"No, not the way I've witnessed it." The smile never faded but tears started to well up, though they didn't over flow. "Seeing you like this again, Dean... It was the last miracle I hoped for. The suffering Lucifer intended didn't happen, seeing you again didn't hurt me at all. It's going to sting when I leave, but I'll treasure this for the rest of my life, no matter how short." He stroked Dean's face, "And don't be mad at him," He motioned toward Castiel, "He's only doing what he has to."

Dean's eyes burned but he didn't let any tears fall, he was a stronger man than that. "No Cas, I'm not letting you go back there."

"You don't have a choice, Dean. My being here screws up the order."

Castiel looked at Dean as well, "Considering all that has happened, Death will not be merciful again." He didn't want to be the bad guy, especially to Dean, but that damned Winchester never followed the rules set up for mankind. God help him if Dean asks him to go against any other laws.

Dean, ignoring Castiel, stared at Cas, "The order? Is that it? That's what your concern is!"

Cas shook his head, "Calm down, okay? That's not my priority here I just... I'm looking for the right words."

"Right words to what?" Dean sounded hurt, and he had a right to be.

"Dean I..." Cas struggled to speak, his hands were sweaty as he withdrew them to himself. "I can't stay here with you."

"Why not! Aside from the obvious Death thing." His eyes scanned Cas' face for some kind of an answer which is exactly where it was forming. Dean saw what it was before Cas had to speak, "It hurts too much, doesn't it?" His voice was softer now, more understanding than moments before.

Cas nodded, losing his fight to hold back tears, "I see you, I see him. You're not the same but you are and I can't... I can't leave him there." His voice cracked as he spoke, his eyes pleading now.

Dean stared for a moment, he wanted to refuse Cas, he wanted to keep Cas there, keep him safe. But there wasn't anything he could do that would accomplish any of it, so he had to nod his head. "I'll let you go freely on one condition," He said with a stubborn look in his eyes.

Cas' head tilted slightly, before he even knew what he was doing. "What do you mean?"

"You can't leave until we find a way for you to beat Lucifer."

"Dean, that's impossible. The rings are on Dean's body and that's with Lucifer." Cas shook his head, "It... just isn't possible." His voice trailed off as he averted his eyes from Dean's.

Castiel looked at the two of them, then over to Sam. Both men stood on the outside of this exchange without anything to say that would help or hinder either argument. Sam's eyes lit up for a moment, an idea had popped into his head. "What if Cas," He paused for a moment, "Well uh... Angel-Cas, sent this Cas back to his time, but not his 'present' time?"

Three heads turned to face Sam and he couldn't ignore the fact that they all had the same expression that added up to one thought; 'What the hell?'

"Okay," Sam said again, "Cas was sent here by Lucifer after Dean died, that's  _his_  present. What if we sent him a few days back from that? Dean would be alive with the rings; Lucifer wouldn't see it coming because it's been so long since that idea would have been relevant. He probably thinks, since you guys never figured it out, you wouldn't ever figure it out so he'll be totally oblivious to it."

Dean frowned, "Would that even work?"

Cas nodded, "Yeah, actually." He smiled again, his eyes almost sparkling. "We could disguise it as Dean's plan to use the colt, but surprise Lucifer with the rings instead. I can figure out the other details from there." All three looked over at Castiel for a yes or no on this one.

When he didn't answer right away, Dean felt somewhat relieved, hoping it would be a no. He really didn't want Cas to leave. However, Dean's expression betrayed his thoughts and Castiel saw right through him. An anger he'd never felt before burned in him; he wanted nothing more than to get rid of his other self. Before he let this rage consume him though, Castiel stopped to try and understand it.

Dean and the others stared at the contemplative expression on the angel's face before Dean finally decided to ask, "What's up Cas?"

Castiel shook his head, "I... I want him out of here. Right now."

Cas laughed, "He's jealous, Dean."

Dean's face took a moment to decide what it wanted to portray before settling on confusion, "Jealous of what?"

His brother's question made Sam smack himself in the forehead. "You, Dean. He's jealous of you and Cas."

Dean looked surprise, which caused Sam to run his hand down his face slowly in agitation. Dean turned his gaze on Castiel, "Seriously?"

The angel looked shocked for a moment too, but then everything fell into place and he shamelessly nodded his head. It made sense to him, why should he hide it?

Dean was even more surprised that Castiel admitted to it so freely. Before he could discuss it further, Cas spoke up. "You guys can sort through that later." He looked at Dean, smiling again, he hugged him. Nuzzling his face into Dean's chest, Cas mumbled a heartfelt "I'm sorry." Pulling back again he looked into Dean's face and, for the last time between them, blue met hazel. "Thanks for everything."

Dean couldn't fight it anymore and tears fell, everything was happening too fast for him to fully grasp his feelings on it but he responded anyway, "Goodbye, Cas." He leaned over and kissed the smaller man, "Good luck."

Cas nodded and looked at Sam, "Good to see you again,"

Sam smiled, "Go and kick my ass, alright?"

"You got it." Giving Sam a thumbs up, Cas turned to face Castiel, "Let's get this over with."

Castiel touching Cas' forehead is all it took to take him away from Dean. He slid his hand down his face to wipe the tears away; he couldn't help the snivelling and sobs that escaped him. Sam watched Dean for a while; the way his brother was acting he was certain that hyperventilating couldn't be too far behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cas - End!verse version  
> Castiel - angel with mojo intact


	8. Chapter 8

Cas' eyes shot open, he was laying in an old familiar bed with unfamiliar women. Sitting upright in a rush he scared the girls into waking but he couldn't care less at this point. "Sorry ladies," He threw out an empty apology as he clambered out of bed. He'd forgotten a lot of the things angels were capable of, he was back in bed the exact same way he was the day Dean returned with the colt. His clothing flew onto him and as he dressed himself he ignored the complaints of the girls. "This is the last session," He turned to look at them, "So have a great day and I'll kindly ask you to get the fuck out of my house." With a smile and a nod, he ran out the door.

Just as he passed through his beaded doorway he heard the roar of Dean's troops returning, one more time. He lifted up his gun and aimed it at Yagger, shooting the man before Dean was forced to. All eyes shot to him, none of them were used to Cas doing anything except for some 'hippie crap,' as Dean had so lovingly named it.

The shock that had taken over the encampment was silencing, no one knew what to say. Cas lowered the gun as he trotted down his front steps, "Dean, we need to talk."

No one, not even Dean, was about to argue with a man that may have snapped that was holding a gun. He gave a solemn nod and the two disappeared into Dean's quarters. Chuck stood holding a clipboard, his eyes wide and his mouth agape. Glancing over at Risa he laughed nervously before sneaking up to Dean's cabin and placing his ear against the door.

Inside, Dean turned around to face Cas almost immediately. "What the hell was that?" His voice was strong and demanding, but this time it didn't faze Castiel.

"I know you didn't want to shoot him, so I did it." Cas put the gun down, away from both of them.

"How did you know?" Dean was very sceptical now, his eyes narrowed as he stared at Cas.

"Long story short, I've seen things and I've been places." Cas looked up at Dean and laughed a little bit, "Oh yeah, the last time we spoke was by the creek, right?" Snickering he tossed his head back and turned around, bringing his hand up to his jaw to rub it. He was searching for the right words this time but decided that it wasn't important anymore. "Well I'm sorry about all of that." He looked back at Dean, "Forgive me if it sounds like I'm distant from it but as far as I'm concerned it's weeks in the past and really not that big of a deal."

Dean opened his mouth to respond but he found no words to use. Cas made a good point, it was useless to freak out over their conversation by the creek now, he had the colt and that was all that mattered.

"We have much bigger things to talk about," Cas' voice had taken on a much more serious tone than Dean was accustomed to, which definitely had him listening. "The colt won't work."

"What?" Dean shook his head, "How would you know?"

"I just know," Cas lifted his hands up toward Dean, "Trust me on this one, the colt will kill just about anything in the world, aside from a select few things. The devil is one of those things."

"And how long have you known about this?" Dean was furious now, he took several steps closer to Cas, "You just let us waste our time looking for it while you-"

"No, Dean." Cas grabbed Dean's shoulders and held them in place, "I only heard about it recently."

"How? When?"

"I was there. You got the colt, just like you have it now. I shot Yagger because I knew he was infected, because I've seen you shoot him before."Cas' eyes were intense as he studied Dean's expression, hoping for some sign of understanding. "Anyway," He sighed and dropped his arms, "You tried to kill Lucifer but he was left standing at the end, and you weren't."

Dean shook his head, "Okay, even if you did see that, how are you here now?"

"Because..." Cas scratched the back of his head, "Lucifer sent me to a different reality, one where you and Sam had stayed together and completely stopped the apocalypse. Lucifer was gone, locked away again. The me in that world sent me back here, to at least give me a fighting chance." He looked up at Dean again, he was counting on this making it through the stubborn man's thick skull.

Dean took a few steps back and leaned against a nearby wall, he shook his head slowly. Hundreds of thoughts swarmed in his head, a lot of them pointing to the fact that he'd just wasted several years of his life trying to find something that would never work. His eyes shifted over to the colt and he lifted it up toward his face. All he saw was another useless weapon, another wasted effort. Tears welled up in his eyes but he squashed them when he squeezed his eyes shut. A loud yell echoed throughout the cabin as he threw the colt against the far wall.

Cas looked to where the thing landed and wandered over to pick it up. "Calm down." He said, squatting down and grabbing the abused gun.

"Why should I calm down, Cas!" Dean's voice cracked as he screamed at him. "My only chance of saving the world died with my brother! Now I have a worthless gun and no plan!" He dropped to his hands and knees and dropped his head on the floor, as if some kind of plan might come rolling down his spine and into his brain.

Cas walked over and knelt in front of his downed friend, "Now when'd I say that I didn't learn how they managed it?"

Dean froze for a moment and slowly lifted his head up to see Cas smiling down at him. There was something about that smile that made him think Cas actually knew what he was doing. "What do you..." Dean muttered as he sat upright, not taking his eyes off Cas.

"I talked to them, you and Sam." Cas said, placing the colt back in Dean's hands, "They told me how they did it and I came up with a plan." He leaned forward, his nose touching Dean's, their lips barely a hair's width apart. While Dean was distracted, Cas slid his hands into Dean's pockets and pulled out the horsemen's rings. "Remember these?"

Dean, who was a little upset that Cas hadn't actually done it, squinted at them. "The horsemen's rings? What good are those now?"

"Well they're what make up Lucifer's cage," Cas looked at them, "I don't quite get it either but it made sense when they said it." He pocketed them and stood up again.

Shaking his head, Dean stood up too and looked down at the colt again, "So... Why do I still need this thing?"

"It's part of my plan," Cas grinned at him, "You go in like you planned to," He wandered to the next room, where they did most of the planning and found the map he remembered looking at originally. As he rolled it out he pointed to where Lucifer was going to be, "We'll head over here."

Dean followed him, not quite sure if Cas had finally snapped or if he'd actually come around from that downward spiral. He leaned over the ex-angel's shoulder to peer at the map, "Detroit, huh?" He looked at Cas' face and only saw determination, no sign of the same man to whom he spoke at the creek that night. Something had brightened Castiel's face, there was a gleam in his eyes that Dean recognized and missed. Somehow the angel he'd fallen for had come back to him.

"Yep, Detroit." Cas looked at Dean again, "You'll notice the area's a hot zone but all of the demons and croats are waiting on the second floor of Lucifer's hideout," He looked back at the map, several flashback images shot through his brain like lightning, "Lucifer himself is around the back of the building in a garden of roses." He turned around to face Dean, "That's where we'll go."

"And do what? He'll be expecting us now that I have the colt." Dean waved it around as a reminder.

"Exactly," Cas grinned again as he gently poked Dean's nose with his index finger, "He'll be expecting the colt, which is what you'll bring and act as if that's your only weapon."Cas patted his pocket, "And then I'll spring these on him. It's gonna be very touch and go at that point, so be on your toes."

Dean snickered, the first time Cas had heard something resembling a laugh in what felt like 20 years. "So basically what you're saying is that after you use the rings we improvise?"

"Pretty much." Cas laughed and nodded, "Pretty much."

Dean looked at the map then back at Castiel, "Well then we'd better tell the others to get a move on."

"Don't tell them about the rings, I don't want any chance of this leaking out." Cas said as he headed toward the door, "You know, because this is our last chance and it's better to be safe than sorry."

"Makes sense," Dean put the colt in its holding place, "All they really need to know about is this thing, that'll be enough information to get them moving." He watched Cas as the man moved toward the door, Dean wanted to ask him to stay, he felt the words pushing forward in his head to the point that they were on the tip of his tongue. No sound came out of his mouth, not as Cas reached for the door knob, not as he turned it, and not even as he opened the door.

Cas glanced over his shoulder, "I'll get the troops moving." He smiled again and stepped out the door, closing it behind him. He looked up and was startled to see Chuck standing there, the man was grinning up a storm. "What?" Cas grinned back as he passed the prophet.

"You guys, uh... Getting back together?"

Laughing the ex-angel continued to walk away to rally the men, he never gave an answer to Chuck's question.


	9. Chapter 9

Standing in front of Lucifer's building were several men and women armed to the teeth, fully expecting the onslaught of croats and demons awaiting them on the second floor. Cas stood before them, his hair clean and, for the first time in a long time, his eyes were determined and focused. "Alright," He spoke over them, having taken command of this portion of the plan. Dean didn't argue with it, Cas knew what was waiting in that building and could better prepare these men for the fight. Cas went over where the ambush would take place and what position everyone should take. He vaguely remembered what corners the enemy would pop out of, but couldn't promise them anything.

Everyone was ready to move out, each prepared and feeling remarkably confident in the plan. A silent nod from Cas sent the crew into the building; he received a few pats on the shoulder as they passed him by. Many of the people present expressed pride for Castiel, that he was taking charge, that he had stopped his self-destructive fall, and that he looked healthier in every aspect of the word. He gave them a smile and a nod as a reply.

Once they were all out of sight, Cas turned to Dean, "Just beyond the gate over there is the garden, good luck and try not to tango with him too soon, okay?"

Dean smirked, "Come on, it's me." He leaned forward as his hand firmly grasped the back of Cas' head and pulled the unsuspecting male toward him. Their lips locked almost immediately, Cas' eyes were wide at first but closed soon after. He wrapped his arms around Dean and pushed their lips together harder, more passionately. He had expected Dean to break it off soon, since they had a mission to accomplish and the leader hadn't been one for fooling around lately. He was, however, pleasantly surprised when Dean's tongue forced its way into his mouth, past his teeth and began to battle his tongue for dominance.

Things became hot and heavy fast before Cas pulled back, "You know I want to," He placed his index finger on Dean's lips, "But we need to stop Lucifer first. If this doesn't work we're all screwed."

Dean looked disappointed but nodded in agreement, "Yeah, you're right." He took the colt out and snuck over to the gate, his gaze trailed back to watch Cas sneak around a different way to the garden. He bit his lip before pushing the gate open and slowly stepping inside.

Cas had crept into the building, staying on the first floor he approached the garden as he'd done before in a bloody haze, but this time he was prepared for what was going to happen. His hand was sweaty now as he gripped the rings tightly, he wasn't going to mess this up. He'd fought too hard and had sacrificed too much to let this chance slip away from him; he would never give up, not again.

He reached the door and placed his ear against it, suddenly above him he heard gun shots and a loud explosion as if someone had thrown a grenade. It made him smile; they'd started the battle with a bang, very classy. Using the sounds from above as a cover, Cas forced the heavy door open and quietly shut it behind him. The path he was on had appeared in the nightmares he'd had of Dean but after today it would be his path to victory, he knew this, he believed in it whole heartedly.

Cas approached the area where Lucifer and Dean were exchanging words, Dean kept his distance from Sam's sharply dressed form but doing so was slowly becoming more and more difficult. Cas squeezed the rings again, one last time, before gently tossing them behind Lucifer's feet. The fallen angel was too busy talking down to Dean to notice the tiny clinking noise the rings made when they hit the stone tiles. Cas had flinched but saw no indication that Lucifer knew any of this was going on around him; Cas made a subtle wave to Dean to back up further before he chanted the magic words. Part of him really wanted to say 'abracadabra' but he refrained from it, in case the real ritual would be messed up by it.

Lucifer's face twisted in confusion when he felt the familiar pull of the hole that formed right beneath his feet, his rage was unmatched when the reality of his situation dawned on him. "When did you learn to use the rings!" He shouted angrily as he struggled to fight the over powering pull from the cage below him.

Dean stumbled backward, straining to fight the same force that Lucifer was being yanked down by. He fell against a small wall and held onto it tightly, the wind had picked up as if it were counter-balancing Lucifer's struggle. Dean's eyes were huge as he watched his brother's face twist in agony and anger as it descended until he could no longer see it. Tormented, Dean involuntarily reached forward while he watched his last chance to save his little brother fall into hell. The hand he was using to hold himself in place started slipping when he heard his brother's voice screaming for help, screaming for him.

"Dean! Dean help me!" Sam Winchester's frantic hands could be seen grasping at the ground as it continued to suck him in, his fingers were dug deep in the stone tiles and made craters as they were violently ripped away from it.

Dean let go of the wall immediately, Sam was still in there! He was sure of it, he'd just heard him! He felt the wind tear him away from his anchor and for a moment he was floating, weightless. Just as Dean had accepted his fate, he felt a strong grip on his wrist yank him back to the safety of the wall and behind it. His eyes shot up to see Castiel's angry blue eyes glaring down at him.

In seconds the hole closed up and the rings lay on the stone floor just beyond the claw marks Sam, or Lucifer, had made. Cas shook Dean violently, "What were you doing!" He shouted, his voice deep and gravelly as it had always been. "Sam is gone, okay! You knew that a long time ago! Lucifer was tricking you, can't you see that!" Cas' voice started cracking but remained enraged, "Why!" He shrieked and tears poured from his eyes, "Why would you do that to me! Why do you keep betraying me!" He shook Dean again, who stared up in surprise and awe. Cas' body was shaking and his grip loosened, allowing Dean a chance to straighten himself out and sit upright.

"Cas..." Dean reached over and touched the ex-angel's face.

Cas was sobbing uncontrollably as the men from the building started walking out into the garden to proclaim their victory. Their pace slowed when they saw Dean and Cas next to one another and the distress Cas was in. All eyes were on Dean now.

Castiel wrapped his arms around himself and pulled his face away from Dean. "Come on, Cas." Dean didn't know what to say but he spoke anyway, hoping that he might blurt something out that helped.

"When..." Cas looked up at him, his eyes were puffy and his cheeks were soaked, "When will you stop?"

Dean shook his head, "Stop what?"

"Breaking my heart." Cas' hand had gripped at his chest as he spoke, "When will you realize that I love you?"

Dean sat in silence, his gaze drifted over to where the rings lay and shook his head one more time. How could he have gone to save Sam? After all that had happened, hadn't he realized that it was stupid to trust Lucifer? That the people around him were the only people he could trust? Hadn't he learned anything?

"I'm sorry, Cas." He lifted his head to look Cas in the face, "For all of the stupid shit I've put you through, I'm so sorry." Tears welled up in his eyes and his bottom lip quivered, he knew his voice would crack if he spoke again but he did anyway, "I love you, too."

Cas was watching Dean's eyes, looking back and forth from his right to his left for a sign of some kind, that he was lying or telling the truth. A smile crept onto face as he let out a short laugh, "Funny way of showing it."

"I know, I know." Dean averted his gaze to look back at the clawed stone, "I... I don't know what I was thinking, I was going to give up our plan on that tiny chance it was actually Sam in there."

Cas placed his hands on Dean's, "I forgive you," He whispered, "Just don't let go."

Dean looked into Cas' eyes and gripped his hands tightly, he nodded and smiled, "I'll never give up again, Cas. I promise."

"Me too." Cas grinned, "Though after all of this I wouldn't mind a relaxing high." Both of them laughed and helped one another to his feet. Their heads lifted to see the crew grinning at them, not one of them had been lost in the big fight and were all raising their eyebrows at the couple.

"What? What are you all gawking at?" Dean frowned at them.

The troops just started their march back to the vehicles, all still smiling but none answering the fearless leader.

"What!" Dean shouted again, only receiving laughter as a response. "Yeah, you'd better run!" He holstered the colt again and snatched up the rings. "Don't get cocky just because we won the battle! There's plenty of the war left to deal with!"

Cas rolled his eyes at Dean's reluctance to relax. "Give it a rest." He said as he pulled Dean into another kiss, "We took out their general, now it's just clean up left over." He grinned, "Nothing is gonna be as tough as this was, so just take a moment. We'll regroup at the camp, take a short vacation, and get back on the apocalypse train afterward, okay?"

Dean smiled and took Cas' slender frame into his arms, "Yeah, okay." He leaned into another kiss, hefted Cas up and carried him back to their truck. Making no objections, Cas wrapped his arms around Dean's neck and buried his head into his shoulder. It was over, it was finally over.


	10. Alternate Ending

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First few paragraphs of this one are the same as the last chapter's but it changes after the first 5

Standing in front of Lucifer's building were several men and women armed to the teeth, fully expecting the onslaught of croats and demons awaiting them on the second floor. Cas stood before them, his hair clean and, for the first time in a long time, his eyes were determined and focused. "Alright," He spoke over them, having taken command of this portion of the plan. Dean didn't argue with it, Cas knew what was waiting in that building and could better prepare these men for the fight. Cas went over where the ambush would take place and what position everyone should take. He vaguely remembered what corners the enemy would pop out of, but couldn't promise them anything.

Everyone was ready to move out, each prepared and feeling remarkably confident in the plan. A silent nod from Cas sent the crew into the building; he received a few pats on the shoulder as they passed him by. Many of the people present expressed pride for Castiel, that he was taking charge, that he had stopped his self-destructive fall, and that he looked healthier in every aspect of the word. He gave them a smile and a nod as a reply.

Once they were all out of sight, Cas turned to Dean, "Just beyond the gate over there is the garden, good luck and try not to tango with him too soon, okay?"

Dean smirked, "Come on, it's me." He leaned forward as his hand firmly grasped the back of Cas' head and pulled the unsuspecting male toward him. Their lips locked almost immediately, Cas' eyes were wide at first but closed soon after. He wrapped his arms around Dean and pushed their lips together harder, more passionately. He had expected Dean to break it off soon, since they had a mission to accomplish and the leader hadn't been one for fooling around lately. He was, however, pleasantly surprised when Dean's tongue forced its way into his mouth, past his teeth and began to battle his tongue for dominance.

Things became hot and heavy fast before Cas pulled back, "You know I want to," He placed his index finger on Dean's lips, "But we need to stop Lucifer first. If this doesn't work we're all screwed." **  
**

Dean stared at Cas briefly, his disappointment was obvious but he decided to shrug it off. "Good point." He turned away and headed through the gate, colt in hand. He glanced back at Cas as the ex-angel trotted into the building, his eyes shifted back to the colt and his mind swarmed with questions. He'd heard Cas' explanation on the thing not working but what if that was just Lucifer toying with him? What if Cas had fallen victim to an illusion Lucifer set up just so Dean wouldn't try the colt? If that were true then the colt would work and Lucifer was just attempting to stop that plan altogether.

Dean furrowed his brow and looked up as he entered the garden. The whole thing about the rings seemed far-fetched as it was, the colt had worked before so why wouldn't it work now? Just the other day Cas believed that the colt would work like everyone else, so why would he wake up the very morning Dean returned with the gun claiming that it wouldn't work? It was too conveniently timed.

Lucifer stood in front of him, decked head to toe in white, a smile gracing his lips. "Dean," His tone sounded as if he'd been expecting him. "What a surprise." He turned fully to face the hunter, a red rose in his hand. "What can I do for you?"

Dean's mind raced for a moment, questioning everything Cas had said now. He was certain Lucifer had set this whole thing up, "I'm here to save the world." He said plainly as he lifted the colt, "Joke's on you, Lucy. I'm not falling for your stupid trick."

Lucifer's eyes widened slightly, "Stupid trick?" He questioned, his face taking on a look of confusion. "Which trick is that?"

"Don't play dumb." Dean growled, "You know exactly what I'm talking about it." His finger twitched above the trigger, the face staring back at him was still his brother's, those were still Sam's eyes. His frown increased as he shook his head, that wasn't Sam anymore, his brother would never do all the things Lucifer had done. "Eat lead, bitch." With that he pulled the trigger.

Cas had opened the door to the garden, he was using the battle sounds above him as a cover so Lucifer wouldn't notice his arrival. He closed the heavy door as quietly as it would permit before he crept down the rose littered pathway. A loud shot sent shivers down his spine, his eyes slowly widening as the horror set in. He ran down the path and saw Dean lying at Lucifer's feet, one large shoe pressed down on the older Winchester brother's neck.

Cas' mouth opened to cry out, nothing came but a pained crackling sound from his throat. He gripped the rings tight enough that they started to dig into his palm, blood trickling down his fist. Lucifer hadn't seen or heard him yet so he threw the horsemen's rings, they landed silently on the back of Dean's left knee, still having gone unnoticed by the devil standing above it.

The ex-angel braced himself, feet shoulder-width apart in hopes that would be the strongest stance to take when the pressure was on. He spewed out the incantation to activate the rings, catching Lucifer's attention. The devilish angel's eyes opened wider in a flash, his pupils shrinking to the smallest size possible. "You!" He snarled and moved toward Castiel.

Cas flinched, expecting to see Lucifer standing in front of him any second. He blinked incredulously at what he saw next; Lucifer had been unable to move from where he stood, the portal to his cage had opened and had already taken hold of him. He lashed out at Castiel but the mortal angel was too far out of his reach to do any form of harm, though that fact didn't stop the devil from spitting out threats.

Cas stood firm as he watched Lucifer get dragged down, letting tears flow down his face and let them be pulled away into the cage alongside the prince of darkness and his beloved. The hole closed up leaving the rings behind on the cold stone floor, no sign that either human or fallen angel just been standing there. Castiel took burdened steps toward the rings and lifted them up in his open palm, staring down at the tiny space they took up.

He didn't shift his gaze when he heard the heavy door swing open and the voices of his comrades spill out into the garden, they had obviously won their fight. He heard a voice ask him; "Where's Dean?"

Cas, with his head hung low, lifted the rings up in a single, sharp motion. No more had to be said after that, everyone understood and they all walked back to their vehicles. Whispers about leadership started spreading around the troops, who would take charge now that Dean was gone? What was their next goal now that Lucifer had been taken care of? No one really thought they'd win, there had always been the underlying pessimism in every plan that they just wouldn't make it out alive. Now, here they were in the end, Lucifer was dead and the world suddenly stood a fighting chance.

Cas reached his truck first, placing a hand on the door handle and opening it he paused for a moment. His eyes stared down at the ground but didn't really see it there. Thoughts buzzed in his mind like a disorganized beehive, the whole point in coming back was to save Dean's life but it had ended the same way. The only difference now was that Lucifer was also gone, which meant that Dean had accomplished the goal he'd set out to do after Sam said yes to the devil. Well, there was one other difference, all the troops were alive and so was he.

He slammed the door shut and lifted his head to face the people standing in front of him. "Listen," His voice sounded strong, stronger than he really felt, "I will not waste another day spent in past mistakes," He refused to allow tears to betray the words he was speaking now, he wouldn't cry for Dean again, not until it was all over. "Dean may be gone but I'm still here, and until this fucking world is put back in some kind of order I will not give in. I'll assume leadership at this point, anyone who has a problem with it can bite me."

There was silence among the crew, glances were exchanged, and finally someone spoke, "We have no problem with that, Cas." Everyone nodded.

"We've fought all this shit until now, who the hell would give up after finally beating the devil?"

"Hell yeah! I'm with you all the way, man!"

Cas stood in quiet awe as he received supporting cries from his comrades, no one intended to leave him twisting in the wind. He grinned, the very same grin he always hid behind when things hurt the most, "Thank you, guys." He opened the door to his truck, "Let's get going back to camp, I need a nap." Hopping in and closing his door, Castiel stared at the gate to the garden and knew that this wasn't the last time he'd be here, he'd definitely be visiting it every night in his dreams from now until his time was up. Putting the truck in gear he tore away from that building, leaving his hopes for a happy future dead in a garden of roses.


	11. Epilogue

It was 2011, Dean sat on his motel bed fiddling with his different guns. Cas was gone, back in 2014. He couldn't help but wonder what happened, did he win? Did he save his Dean? Is he dead now? Knowing those questions would never be answered Dean couldn't help but ask them anyway.

Sam had gone out to get a few things, beer mostly, to remedy Dean's slump. A few cheeseburgers would probably make their way into that list. Dean was alone in the motel, alone with his thoughts, alone with his guns. He missed the scruffy little man that he'd only known for a few days, it was surprising how big the impression Cas had made was.

Just as the older Winchester was moping around in his own thoughts, Castiel returned to the room. He'd dropped his other self off in 2014 a day earlier and hadn't come back to see Dean, he hadn't wanted to see his human fussing over a different version of him when he was still right there. Not realizing Dean's capability of moping for days on end, Castiel was disappointed to see the state he was still in.

Saying nothing the angel dropped himself down on the bed next to Dean, startling him. Dean looked up to see Cas staring at the wall, his back was straight and his eyes fixated on one position. Before he could say anything about it Cas' shoulders slumped and his posture crumpled, his head slowly turning to face Dean. "What can I do to make you look at me that way?"

Dean was taken aback by the question, he knew Cas to be forward but he'd never expected things like that to come out of the angel's mouth. "Uh..." he stammered, caught off guard and completely unawares. "Well I..." He scratched the back of his head, "I never thought you'd ever... I didn't think I'd ever..." He looked back up to see that Cas hadn't moved, his blue eyes staring intently, intensely, fervently. It dawned on Dean that this was the same man, well, angel-man, he just hadn't gone through a living hell like the other Cas had. Smiling, Dean pulled Castiel into a kiss, the angel's eyes popped open and stayed that way, watching Dean.

When the kiss broke he could hardly speak, "What?"

Dean laughed, "You don't have to do anything, Cas." He ran his hand through the soft black hair on the angel's head, "You're perfect just the way you are."

Dean didn't know how Cas was doing with the apocalypse, but sitting there alone wasn't going to help him in anyway. If Cas was alive and had won, that was great and Dean would be happy for him. If not, and Cas had suffered some horrible fate, Dean could at least make an attempt to honour his memory and love Castiel the way he should have.

Needless to say, Sam was very unimpressed with the images that were seared into his brain once again when he returned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's that! Thanks for reading my old work, guys :D


End file.
